Heroes Don't Kiss and Tell
by Kitten Otaku
Summary: Desperate times call for desperate measures if you want to ask out England. USUK . Rated T for later chapters .
1. Chapter 1

"So dude, are you sure this is a good idea?" America asked.

"Of course, mon ami ! 'Zis will get him in bed with you for sure! Big brother knows best after all~" France said as he laughed in a ridiculous French matter.

"Whatever dude, I wouldn't need to ask you if all I wanted was to bang England ." America said, slightly blushing. He was so glad France couldn't see him through the phone.

"Whatever you say, America. Remember to keep it a surprise. Oh and do share with me every single detail lat-" America hung up on France.

"Psh, whatever dude. Heros don't kiss and tell!" America said with a grin as he set his plan into motion.

* * *

"Hey, England dude !" said America as he walked over to England after a world meeting was over and everyone besides them was heading out the door.

"What is it America?" England asked rather tiredly . The meeting did not progress, of course, whatsoever today and England had a rather strong headache and was drained of most of his energy .

"Dude, you sound pretty tired. It's probably because you're getting old !" America laughed with an obnoxious grin . How he hated it whenever America called him dude . Whatever happened to the sweet innocent little angel he raised ?

"I am NOT old you arse! " England huffed, rather offended .

"Yeah, yeah whatever Artie ." America said, the obnoxious grin still present.

"Don't call me Artie either you git! Now, what is is that you said you wanted again?" England asked, now slightly suspicious.

"So like dude, we should hang out later tonight ! I know you're free from work and all, so I won't take no for an answer . 'Kay? So, I'll pick you up at 7. Later!" America said as he ran out of the empty conference room .

"WAIT, BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN AGREED TO THIS YET. COME BACK YOU TOSSER !" England yelled. He sighed, America did say he wasn't going to take no for an answer. The git was pretty stubborn.

'_America can explain himself when he picks me up tonight, I suppose._' England thought to himself as he made his way back home .

* * *

It was ridiculous how England was trying so hard with his naturally messy golden bed-head hair .

'_Well, this is as good as it's going to get_.' England thought to himself as he gave up on his hair sighing . He then stopped and wondered why he actually cared about something like his hair . He normally could give less of a damn in all honesty . Why was this any different?

"It's not like that git is going to get all dressed up for this anyways." England said to himself as he walked over to his closet to change out of his uniform . He walked over to the mirror and examined himself. Green eyes stared back as he looked at his face and outfit, insecurity suddenly washing over him.

"I wonder if I'm dressed too casually .. Bloody git didn't even bother to tell me where he was taking me." England said aloud to no one in particular as he went to the kitchen to make himself some tea.

* * *

England was having a lovely cup of tea while munching on some scones when the doorbell rang several times. '_Ringing the doorbell once is enough ._' England thought irritably as he went to answer the door.

"I heard you the first time you rang the door bell you know." England said as he opened the door. But when he did, America was standing there with a bouquet of flowers and was dressed in his usual attire consisting of that brown bomber jacket he usually wears, a white t-shirt, and a pair of jeans. England now felt better about his own outfit.

"Quit your nagging England ." America complained with a cute pout .

"Remind yourself to only ring the doorbell once next time though . I suppose you want to come in ? I'm just about to finish my tea and scones." England asked eying the flowers.

"Uh-huh. Oh yeah, sure dude. We could hang here til' you finish up and crap. Oh, and these are for you." America said, ending the sentence rather shyly as he held up the flowers.

"T-These are for me?" England asked as he took the flowers from America, both of whom were now slightly blushing and avoiding eye contact with each other.

"Yeah." America replied, looking away.

"Thank you. I shall find a vase to put them in. Oh, do come in." England said as he walked into his house. America walked inside England's house and closed the door behind him before following England to the kitchen .

"I do remember keeping a vase somewhere in here.." England said as he bent down to open a cupboard and retrieve a vase. America couldn't help but watch him as he bent down . America got a good view of England's ass and blushed as he looked away. England closed the cupboard and went to the sink to fill the vase of water .

"So, you never did tell me where you're taking me." England stated as he put the flowers into the half-way water filled vase.

"It's going to be a surprise !" America smiled secretively. England raised a bushy brow .

"I see. " was all England said as he placed the vase in the middle of a table in the kitchen .

"Dude, are you done yet ?" America asked impatiently.

"Don't be so impatient. Just let me place my tea cup into the sink and dispose of the left over sc-"

"Those can wait ! Come on, let's go. We're going to be late for the place that's going to be totally cool that I'm taking you to !" America interrupted as he grabbed England's hand and headed out the door.

" I said don't be so impatient you toss pot !" England yelled as America led him to the car. Where he was going, he had no idea.

* * *

**_Author's Notes: Hello there ! I'm Kitten Otaku and this is my first ever fanfiction so please be gentle . There shall be other chapters to come ! Criticism is welcome and reviews are very much appreciated (^_^ ) Okay, so have a lovely day .~_**


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh for bloody sakes, will you just tell me where we're going?" England grumbled, tapping his fingers impatiently against the dashboard of Alfred's car.

"Of course I can't tell you Iggy !" America replied. "It's a surprise after all!" America laughed obnoxiously.

"Hmph." England looked away and continued to sulk in silence. England didn't think America would take him anywhere far enough to drive for more then five minutes. At best, England thought America would've taken him to a bloody McDonalds or perhaps those Olive Gardens Americans seem so fond of. All he wanted to do was rest, especially after that exhausting world meeting earlier that day. But, much to his chagrin, America had other plans. No matter how many times England badgered him, America was tightlipped about where he was taking him. And when England tried to argue that he was too tired to go, America would call him an old man again. And there they were, in the car, America driving England to god knows where.

"You know, I already suffered enough from today's meeting" England began, "so I don't get why you're dragging me to wherever this surprise is."

"Aw, c'mon Iggy ! The meeting today wasn't that bad . After all, all of my ideas were totally epic and we're a step closer to making the world a better place, thanks to me !" America said with that charming yet obnoxious grin of his . Wait, charming ? He didn't just think that. Absolutely not. It must've been because England was feeling a little tired at the moment . Yeah, that was it .

"Yes, well, that was an exception," England told him, the sentence oozing of sarcasm. "The rest of it was a colossal waste of time."

"Well, I think that this surprise will totally get your mind off of it." America said, oblivious . "We're going someplace I think you'll like . . . at least I hope you'll like it." America finished with a wink and England admittedly was starting to get quite curious.

_Someplace America thinks I'd like..? _England thought to himself, racking his brain for ideas. There seemed to be a McDonalds and Olive Gardens at the end of every bloody street, so those places were crossed out . England seemed dazed for the rest of the car ride, his mind occupied with trying to figure out where America was taking him.

"We're almost there," America announced and England's curiosity piqued .

England looked out the window and examined the scenery . It wasn't anything he was familiar with and that just made him even more curious.

"Okay, we're here!" America exclaimed loudly as the car skidded to a halt.

_I should have bloody well known_, England thought, once he looked at where America had taken him. England was looking at a French cuisine restaurant called the 'Lemon Grass' England now recalled hearing about from France who was bragging about how his cooking skills were far more superior to England's. As soon as England had gotten over the initial shock of it all, he glared at America just to find him grinning at him expectantly. England was now tempted to run out of the car and catch a taxi home. But unfortunately, if the git was good at something other then shoving a pile of hamburgers down his throat, it would be athletics . Oh, the irony.

"_This _is your idea of a pleasant surprise?" England exclaimed, gesturing toward the restaurant like it was some kind of a hellish deathtrap. "How could you assume I'd like a place like _this_? Why on earth would I want to eat the god damn Frog's food !"

"Whoa, calm down!" Alfred said. "This is only the _first_ part of the surprise! And it's not the part I expected you to like anyway . . . but come on, we're here now, so why don't we just try it? Just some dinner and then we'll go on the second part of the surprise."

"No," England told him, crossing his arms. "I have absolutely no intention of eating anything that Frog made and I demand that you turn this car around right now or—"

"Pleeeeeeease." America interrupted, giving England a puppy dog look. Oh dear god no. Not the puppy dog look. England stood there for a moment, shocked. How the hell was he supposed to say no to that pitiful face ? Just as England was about to give in, America continued talking.

"And I'm not taking you back—which means you're stranded here for the moment. So just give it up and come on!" America grabbed England's hand and pulled him out of the car, dragging him into the restaurant.

"Slow down ! You can't take me against my will!"

"Oh, can't I?" America replied, a devilish gleam shining in his eye. England didn't like the look of that one bit as America's grip on his hand was tightened .

England cursed under his breath. He wasn't about to let himself get humiliated like this, so it didn't look like he had much of a choice. Grudgingly, he agreed to America's demands.

"I knew you'd come around dude !" America remarked excitedly. "Now follow me!"

_Arrogant git,_ England thought, mentally plotting his revenge as the hostess sat them down at a table. It just wasn't fair. Why did he have to be so bloody attracted to an idiot ?

* * *

Hello lovelies.~

I'm so sorry for the delay in putting this up. School is coming up and life is dragging me away from my laptop ;AA;

This chapter might've been a little short, but I'll be quick to post the next chapter soon.

And now, thanks to everybody who reviewed: **tealgirl713**,** iluvmusic1234**,** Miss Croatia**,** and Necomochi** .

Oh and I don't own Hetalia. Hidekaz Himaruya does. (If I did, USUK would be canon though. LOL. /shot.)


	3. Chapter 3

England sulked the entire meal, not that America noticed. He was chatting away about his daily affairs as he shoved food in his mouth in a rather undignified matter. England poked at his food with a fork and hesitantly took a small bite. He hated it instantly.

"So I was like, 'Dude, you need to totally get your own! Forreal yo!' and yeah. I totally rock . So.. Is it any good?" America asked shyly .

England, being the big tsundere he is, was quick to reply, "No, it is not good! Just as I suspected from the beginning, but it's no surprise at all considering how it's French. British food is clearly far surperior to this rubbish!"

America's face wore a crestfallen expression on his face that sent a jolt of pain to England's heart. "I MEAN . T-The burgers at your place are also much better then this place! You didn't have to bother driving all the way out here... I'malsonotsayingthistomakeyouf eelbetter either!" England stuttered out. America's face lightened up again and flashed a bright grin.

"I totally know what you mean. Y'know what dude?" America smirked. England raised a bushy brow.

"What?" England asked as he tilted his head. America stood up and leaned toward England's ear. "Let's dine and dash." America whispered, tickling his ear. England backed away, blushing, and was quick to shake his head furiously.

"Whaaaaat? Why not? C'mon dude. Please?" America begged, flashing those blasted puppy dog eyes once again .

"Absolutely not. I will not do such a thing. That is a form of criminal fraud, you and I both know that." England stated.

"Aw. That's no fun. Well.. Uhm.. Well.. Dude, then could you pay the check? I kinda didn't bring my wallet." America asked nervously.

"How could you forget something like your wallet, you bloody idiot! What if something were to happen and you didn't have any money on you?!" England scolded. But upon seeing America's pitiful face, he sighed. Leave it to America to forget something as important as his wallet.

"Alright, just this one ti-" he reached his front pockets to find them empty . He panicked for a few seconds before he realized. _'Ah. That's right. Bloody fool pulled me out of my house before I could grab my wallet. Or cellular phone for that matter.' _

England was in full out panic mode by now and it showed on his face. He was about to suggest that they excuse themselves to the restrooms and dash the hell out of there, before the sound of America's laughter reached his ears. "Dude, I totally got you! You should've seen your face! HAHAHAHAHA." America laughed as people turned their attention towards them.

England sighed in relief. "Oh god. America, you idiot. I thought we actually couldn't pay for our mea-"

"Do you gentlemen need anything?" the waiter asked from behind England, making him jump from his seat.

"Nah, check please!" America replied.

"Of course sir. I'll return momentarily," was the waiter's response. He came back with the check and America took out his wallet, throwing two hundred dollars on it. England rose his brows. He didn't think the meal would be _that _expensive. He bit his lip . There was no way he was just going to let America pay for a two hundred dollar meal for the both of them. He was about to voice himself, but America seemed to know what was on his mind.

"Dude, it's cool. You still owe me a crap ton of money, so it's all good." America teased good-naturedly.

"Anyways, I'm glad I got to try out this place with you. Even if the portions were small as hell and our food is better." America said with a smile that made England's heart melt a little.

"ANYWAYS, ONWARD TO THE NEXT SURPRISE!" America exclaimed as he grabbed England's hand and led him to the car outside, blissfully unaware that the other male was blushing violently and his heart seemed to be bursting. England awaited the next surprise in anticipation.

* * *

**_Author's notes: Oh my god, I am so sorry for the delay . This is such a short chapter too, I'm so sorry! (-) Honestly, I actually kind of forgot about this fanfic here. But late one night, I couldn't sleep and I read a USUK fanfiction, thinking about writing one myself. But then I remembered, 'Oh wait. I DID write one. And I left it completely unfinished!' so I came back to finish this. I'm so sorry for the wait everyone ! It might be another week or so before I update again. Thank you to everyone who read this! Feel free to leave a review :33_**


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